The company I work for has a Senior Executive that writes a weekly blog that I find very humorous and insightful. A few months back he wrote an article that I found extremely insightful and has had me thinking for quite some time. The point of the story is that when you are working with a client, there is very little point in arguing to prove you are right. Let me repeat that that, there is very little point in arguing to prove you are right.
Every one of us has found us in a position where you are working with someone and a difference of opinion occurs which sparks a discussion. At times these conversations turn into a battle of wills with each person trying to prove that they are right. In severe cases you can lose site of the goal you are trying to accomplish and begin focusing on winning the argument. This is often done for reasons of pride. Winning an argument to prove yourself right makes you feel better, it makes you feel superior, and satisfies any feelings of insecurity you have.
What most people don’t take into account is the flip side of the argument, the person who loses, can feel inferior. There is also a good chance that they have less good will towards the person who just made them feel bad. This effect compounds over time to the point where no one wants to work with the person who is striving to be right over all else.
There are numerous reasons why striving to be right is detrimental, but the main reason is, this is a selfish attitude that loses track of the bigger picture. You are trying to accomplish a goal. This could be coming up with a new project idea, planning an office event, advising a client, it could be anything. When you set out on the task the goal was to complete it successfully and reap the rewards of the effort. The goal was not to come out of the task having demonstrated the situations where you are right and thus superior. It is just not effective and seldom accomplishes anything.
Your goal should be squarely focused on accomplishing the activity. If there is a disagreement, discuss it and make sure you understand what problem each person is trying to solve for. Keep asking, how does this problem prevent us from accomplishing the activity? Is it critical? Is there a solution that satisfies both people’s concerns? What will be the impact of trying the other person’s solution?
What you are trying to do is get past the roadblock as quick as possible with a solution that will work. It may not be the perfect solution from your perspective, but it gets you back on track to accomplishing what you set out to do.
The person who accomplishes their goals is effective. These are the people you want to work with, because they check pride at the door and do what is right for the task at hand. They are not out to pad their ego or show superiority. They simply want to succeed. If you catch yourself thinking that someone else is wrong and I am going to show them way, stop and ask yourself, how does this help anything but my ego. Focus on how to alleviate the problem and move on. You will get a lot more accomplished.
